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Question As Sharp As Cutlery
- Him: So, why is a woman like you not married?
- Me: (laughs)
- Him: No, really... you're a catch-
- Me: (laughs harder)
- Him: -intelligent, beautiful-
- Me: (still laughing) I'm divorced!
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Soldier Talk
I’ve been meeting a lot of former soldiers lately. Men who have seen active service in the last two years. I find them to be quite unusual.
I introduced the Israeli to an American, who was former air force intelligence. They got along ok, at one point bonding over what their favourite type of Glock was.
I introduced the Israeli to a British infantry officer (who has terrible scarring on his hands). They really hit it off, and afterward when I commented that the Israeli seemed to like the British solider, he told me: “It’s nice to meet a real soldier for a change. He’s shot and been shot at, what is the worst that could happen to the American? His computer crashes?” -
"Relating the ancient world to the world I am surrounded with makes it more immediate and relevant to me personally. I can’t, obviously, get back into the ancient world however much I’d like to."
-My father.
I receive the Metropolitan Museum e-newsletter; I recommend it to anyone. It features little excerpts from curators about themes and objects inspired by (I suspect) the British Museum’s “A History of the World in 100 Objects” series.
I came home from work to find the newsletter featured my father talking about an Imperial Roman silver spoon and fork from the 3rd century AD.
It’s so lovely to hear him talk - I love listening to him talk about antiquity in any capacity - but even more lovely, is his occasional mischievous laughter that comes through now and then.
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"Would be like giving someone a baby lion (yes, you) on loan for a weekend. Very cute, but what will the house look like afterwards?"
- Alexander, on the prospect of anyone having me over for the weekend. Rawr! -
How to Present a Business Card
- Hungarian DHM: M----, nice to see you! Have you been introduced?
- Me: Sera Marshall from the British Embassy. Pleased to meet you.
- Polish 2nd Secretary: M---- A---- from the Polish Embassy. At your service.
- Hungarian DHM: You've never said that to me!
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Another Reason I Love My Job
- Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador: Are you sure his name is written with an 'e'?
- Me: Quite certain, but I will check before I send the email.
- (checks)
- Me: Ah, you were right.
- Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador: Sorry, what was that?
- Me: You were right.
- Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador: Couldn't quite catch that...
- Me: You were right.
- Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador: One more time?
- Me: You were right.
- Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador: Oh, good. So nice to get the opportunity to be smug.
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High Resolution -
My hands on Rosa’s beautiful hair. It was such a great day. We went to Rudolf’s home and had homemade strawberry ice-cream and tea. I crept around all the rooms. Saw Sally Mann prints and crucifixes. We made dirty jokes.
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Love at First Click!
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"I dunno,” he moaned, “I’ve only been a woman for ten minutes and I already hate you male bastards."
- Beti’s (aka Corporal Nobby Nobbs in disguise) reaction to the Partician and Sergeant Fred Colon when she is told she is not allowed to come into the caravanserai in the Klatchian city of Al-Khali. -
Ne'er-do-wells and Vagabonds: Love letter to Hattie Watson
I have a thing for redheads like Batman has a thing for justice. The first time I saw you, via my monitor, I stared for a length of time that would have been inappropriate in polite society. Like most women I encounter online, you were a nameless beauty, and though I left a sliver of myself in your photographs I moved on. What else could I do? But you are no longer nameless, you’ve graduated from JPEG to blog which means you’re alive. You have a personality and interests and a hometown, Now I can be infatuated with more than just a picture of your pale skin, your red hair, your freckles, the pink in your nose and the palms of your hands and just the prospect of you is enough to make my chest blush as my heart rate fluxes.
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The First Kiss
- Her: şöyle oldu
- Her: "öpücem" dedi
- Her: and we kissed.
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"Just please remember: the man is just a man and will disappoint."
- My ex-husband’s dating advice to me. -
"Boyz be deliciouss"
- Spoken like a true connoisseur, the one and only: Ayça.
If There Was Any Doubt
